Up to date 2016

Its been a while since I darkened my blogs door way. Its been a long tiring, depressing & painful time. I had back surgery on disks L4-5 & L5-S1  as the disks were leaking quite a lot and the Sciatic pain from the drainage was unbearable.

Finally, after a lot  of rigamarow they did surgery on 08/04/2015 through the front. Since, I am a rather large woman I was in so much pain they had to transfer me to a rehab facility for ten days. As the Headache & Pain center’s hospital is not equipped for more than a day or twos stay.

Then after a lot of continued pain they put a cage around my spine by operating through the back this time on 08/31/15. After another stay at the rehab hospital for a week I was finally able to go home. Unfortunately, because of my size my back got all puffy and would drain small amounts of dark red blood or clear fluid.

One day about two weeks after surgery as I was to cleaning my back wound area with a q-tip & a water & peroxide mix like I was told one of the lower areas on my incision the q-tip went into my back and a Huge amount of fluid and dark blood ran out of my back and totally soiled and saturated my bed. I quickly grabbed a chuck and put it down behind me and another against my back .

As I pushed to put pressure my back to stop the on slot of fluid the rest of my incision opened up and showered me and both chuck’s with bloody fluid it was a mess I dare say. After the on slot slowed to a slow trickle I was able to get up and with my mom’s help get myself cleaned up.

The good news is after the built up fluid was gone I felt so much better. Good thing we had some bandages left from the hospital. My Mom & I estimated that I lost over 2 cups of fluid if not more. As it saturated two chucks 1/3rd of my bed, me my nightgown and a big heap of Kleenex

It took a long while for the wound to close and stay closed because of the constant build-up of fluid. But finally by January 2016 it closed for the final time.

It took me quite a while to get back on my feet after the surgery. However, by April 2016 I was feeling much better. On the downside I did end up with a small amount of nerve damage in my left thigh, ankle and foot/toes. Over time it got better but the damage to the nerves to my toes was affected the most and they still scream in pain from time to time. Mostly its hard to wear a shoe on that foot.

Then wouldn’t you know when I went back to the HA & pain Doctors to check out the results from my neck MRI.(I was having a lot of shoulder & neck  pain). I found out quite quickly that I had a disk in my neck that was pushing into my spinal cord causing me to lose balance to the side. I just thought I was clumsy. The doctor told me that I was in an emergency situation & had to have neck surgery asap or I could be paralyzed. So it was just under a week since I heard the news that I was under the knife again.

Thanks be to God I made it through without an issue. The site healed nicely with no problems and I was able to go home after only one night in the hospital.

So you can see why I have been too busy and in too much pain to write. Now After struggling to no avail for decades I am looking into weight loss surgery to relieve pressure on my back and help with my diabetes. Otherwise, I will just be having one surgery after another till I die.

I Know God will be with me no matter what happens and that gives me strength.




Sammy the Tasmanian Devil; or cats gone wild!

Sammy the Tasmanian Devil; or cats gone wild!


Sammy at 6 months


Sammy at 1-year-old (well a least half of him fits in his cat condo)

Last time I wrote about Sammy he was a little mess (LOL). In to everything just like a toddler. You could not leave a pencil, pen, eraser or anything he could get in his mouth where he could get it. My Mom and I were always missing something! The funniest thing he took was my moms pencil sharpener. Even my mom was amused. I am not sure how he carried it off its too wide to fit in his mouth; but with Sammy most anything is possible.


BUSTED! Caught red pawed with his treat bag!


                             If it is a high Sammy is ready to try it out! Sammy can jump over 6 feet straight up and 8 feet if he has a running start.                                                   Never have I seen a cat jump so high!

We don’t dare put anything on top of any of our book cases anymore because my little scamp, Sammy will just push it off and sprawl out!  I spent a good couple of months trying to change Sammy. Then I realized he wasn’t going to change.  He is just super energetic and curious! He is so curious and cognizant of everything that is going on around him that he raises the curiosity bar quite high. I used to consider Sammy a BAD cat because he is so ornery. But he has taught me a lot!

 I started talking to Sammy from the moment I got him and now we have full conversations! LOL And he has a special word/sound he makes just for me. Every time I call him he comes a running and then tilts his head and says mar-mar.  I believe he is trying to say mama because I am always saying ma-ma loves you or trying to get him to say it.


This is Sammy today my little chunk! LOL

In the picture above Sammy is modeling his Christmas attire. I actually had started putting it on him when he was being especially mischievous. However, that back-fired as he likes wearing it. At least the bells let me know where he is most of the time. My poor mom cannot leave her drink on her desk or anywhere Sammy can get it because he likes to push drinks off places and watch the water or whatever you are drinking run all over the place. He finds water fascinating! He can sit in the sink and watch the water run for a s long as you are willing to leave it on. He does not mind getting wet either. But a bath forget it!

I wish I had more pics catching him being ornery but he’s too quick for me. My mom smartened up & started wedging her water jug in a desk drawer whenever she leaves her room. Now he steals our straws! He does not torment me like he does my mom he is forever giving her grief! I told my mom we could put a latch on the outside of her door so he can’t throw his body against the door  and open it when are gone from the house or she goes out of her room.  Yesterday, mom secured her drink and hid her straw and when she came back he had taken he lid into the living room and dropped it and then he had gone back and taken off with her plastic 7-day pill-box. Now that was a sight-seeing Sammy carrying that cross-wise in his mouth. Sometimes I think he thinks he is a dog!

Speaking of dogs he loves my moms dog Missy. They play together. His favorite thing to do with Missy is bat at her poofy white tail and capture it (Missy’s half  poodle and half something else). Right now my fur ball is asleep on my bed in his bed. I put his bed on the other side of the bed because he likes to sleep with me on the bed. He loves his little bed.

I love Sammy with all my heart mischievous and all. He is affectionate. He always rubs his head on my face when he wants a treat or just some loven. He loves to be scratched behind his ears and on his head. He loves to play especially with the red laser light. Though, he knows I am moving the light because if he does not like where the light is he will come over to me and meow about it.  Lately, Sammy has been waking me up high jumping in the bed and hitting the door and acting all nutty. I finally figured out that he was trying to catch the light that comes through the window when a car goes by. I had blinds and curtains but the light comes from the top and goes across the ceiling. Well if he is awake he goes crazy jumping all around. By the way he does that with bugs too.  If an insect flying or otherwise gets in the house Sammy is on the hunt. Flying across the room trying to get it!

Now, the first time he does his middle of the night acrobatics I shoo him out of the room till it gets light. Just last week Sammy started getting things from his secret stash (that I have yet to find) and will lay on the other side of my door and push items through the half-inch space under the door. Sometimes, I have a whole bunch of stuff on my side of the door. Unfortunately, he wakes me up a lot doing it because you can hear his claws on the bottom of the door. LOL

I’m glad I got Sammy and not someone else because I don’t think everyone would put up with his antics. I however, am amused most of the time by them. I do wish he would stop tormenting my mom. Although, she’s used to his antics now; she doesn’t like the spilling of drinks much and I can’t say I blame her as I don’t appreciate that trick myself! LOL


           Here’s Sammy at 6 months having just been caught taking off with my artist pencil pouch. He looks so innocent does he not!

Sammy is a lot of things but, there is one thing I think he excels at and that is being cute!

Ever stood in front of the microwave and forgot why you were standing there??

For that matter have you ever opened the fridge door and forgot why you opened it? I have, matter of fact I have closed the fridge door or left from in front of the microwave depending on which one I was doing; and then gone back to my bedroom or wherever I was prior to the microwave or fridge and then I will remember why I was at the microwave or why I had opened the fridge. At times like these I feel like a real idiot! However, the worst is when I am in the middle of something and get distracted and then end up doing something else only to be distracted again by the cat or my mom and start something else. Then later I will notice 2-3 things half done and have to finish them (hopefully before I get distracted again).

Past Examples of things I have left undone would be:

  • turning the washer on and forgetting to put detergent or, softener in and/or leaving the lid up
  • leaving the fridge door open
  • leaving the dishes half done
  • leaving drawers or cabinets open

By now I am sure you are thinking I must be a little senile. My mom says I remind her of an absent-minded professor; because I don’t see the forest for the trees. Unfortunately, I see and hear way to much. My mind just processes things different. You see I believe I have Asperger’s Autism. If you know anything about autism you know that we are overwhelmed a lot by our environment. Me, well I get distracted by all the input. I can be talking about something very serious then see a butterfly or a flower and then I am looking at the butterfly or smelling the flowers and the person I was talking to is left hanging. You have to be quite patient when you are around me.

Since I turned forty, (seven years ago) I also noted a decline in my memory. So, I have to write everything down now. Problem is when I lose where I put the piece of paper! Ha Ha! I try to keep my room organized and everything in its place so, this does not happen but, a lot of the time life or, pain gets in the way. I now have a Calendar that I write all my appointments and important things I have to do on. This helps a lot.

Even with all the bad there are still some good things I have gotten from having autism. I have a heightened sense of smell that tells me when the litter box needs changed, when food is done, and when I need to bathe. I enjoy flowers and outdoors more because of my sense of smell. I also have a strong sense of textures. This can be good and bad. Especially with food, I cannot stand certain food textures. However, I love soft fur,  clothes and blankets. No wool for me or anything that is scratchy. Which also means there are no tags on any of my clothes.

Now you know you are not alone when it comes to being forgetful or needing everything to be in a certain order!

Living with Asperger’s Autism

I was born in September of 1966. Back in those days people had no clue what Asperger’s was. If you were dysfunctional or acted strange you were put in an institution. I have to give my mom a lot of credit here because she never did that to me. When I would have flunked kindergarten my mom convinced the teacher to pass me. My mom and grandmother thought it was because I four years old when I started kindergarten not turning five till the end of September. The truth of the matter was kindergarten had been way too overwhelming for me. I wasn’t used to so much noise, and the lights were way to bright! Nap time was another challenge; by the time we were supposed to lie down I was too keyed up from all the input and would either cry or throw a royal fit. Normally, I was quiet and withdrawn preferring to escape inside my head then deal with school and everyone in it. I don’t remember a lot of my early childhood but I do remember I had no social skills to draw from and my mom was told I was retarded by my kindergarten teacher. But you know I wasn’t and am not retarded. At the tender age of five I could already read a newspaper out loud to my grandmother. I knew my colors and how to count but it took me till I was in third grade to learn the alphabet.
In first, second, third, and fourth grades I had sessions with therapists and tutors sometimes twice a week other times every day. During some of these sessions there were toys piled high on a table in the room and the therapist would watch me play. In other sessions they would just talk to me. In 4th grade my therapy visits were eliminated when I went to the first visit that year and looked at the psychiatrist who was there to evaluate me with another table filled high with toys and said “You want me to play with these toys so you can watch me and see if you can determine what type of therapy I need.” By then I was tired of being evaluated all the time when I played and tired of having to see a therapist. I told the Psychiatrist that I needed a tutor to help me catch up with the other kids; not see a therapist who only further alienated me from the other kids. The psychiatrist said I was fine after that. He also said I was a lot smarter than the teacher’s thought and I was not retarded. I remained in tutoring until the beginning of fifth grade at which time I was caught up with my peers.
My difficulty in school was always related to how I related to things or how I interacted with other children. For the most part I found other children mean. I went through a lot of bullying too, which made k-6 years almost unbearable. By high school I learned to mimic other kids and how they socialized so I did much better.
When I look back on my life and then think about my life now I realize I still suffer from a lot of Asperger’s related issues.
1. Hypersensitivity to noise: (in high school this diminished now a days it’s back with a vengeance) I like quiet and soft light; it bothers me if it is too bright outside.
2. Hypersensitivity to sensations: If I am hot I am extremely hot to the point of getting very fidgety, if I am cold I am freezing. I cannot nor have I ever been able to tolerate tags in my clothes and clothes have to be washed sometimes three times before they are comfortable to me. Certain smells bother me and there are certain foods I cannot eat because of the texture and the texture I can’t tolerate can change on me.
3. Routine: I need a least a day or two to prepare myself for changes and when I work I must have a certain routine to keep my stress level down. I also have to have a certain amount of down time between being at work and not being at work or I panic.
4. Obsessions: I get obsessed easily for instance I watched extreme couponing once and ended up getting a notebook, and dividers and I would go to the recycling centers and collect grocery sacks full of coupons and that’s all I would do from the time I got up to the time I went to bed. The same with scrapbooking. Its like I go through these extreme phases where I eat , breathe and sleep whatever I am obsessed with at the time.
5. Poor social skills: though my social skills have gotten better and I have learned to recognize some facial expressions I still will ask someone if they are mad at me because I read their facial expression wrong. This drives my mom crazy at times. Used to drive my best friend nuts. In-addition I tend to talk before I think and I tend to tell everyone my life story even if I just met them. I also tend to answer a question literally I have no buffers. For instance one of the things that got me into trouble at my last job was because I had an elderly client ask me what the scar on my left forearm was from. Instead of making up something or hedging the question. I told her the truth, that I had tried to commit suicide 20 years ago. I didn’t go into detail that’s all I said but this caused the patient to request another nurse because she was afraid I would get upset and try to commit suicide in her house. Which to me is a really weird reaction as I had never done anything to make her think that and she always requested me prior to that.

Even with all the adversity I have had through my life I keep plugging away. One thing that has helped is my writing whether it be journaling or writing stories it’s the one way I have been able to connect with people without feeling at a disadvantage.

Elizabeth Marie

Auburn hair and amber eyes…

A smile to fill you with the sun…

A warmth and brightness to her soul…

A sense of adventure and great strength…

Warm hands that create…

Such beauty, such art…

A loving heart in all things…

Elizabeth Marie…

Please bring her back to me

Safe and sound…

heart filled thoughts and hopes abound…

Stacey Lynn

Just the other day I came across a notebook full of my moms old writing. In it I was delighted to find a poem about me entitled “Stacey Lynn.” I just had to share it with everyone as I thought it was so special! It was written in 1971 according to my mom, when I was just five years old!

Stacey Lynn by Sylvia Xxxxx

What’ll I do when she’s grown and gone?

The hour’s will seem ever so long.

I yell at her now, but what would I do?

If she wasn’t there for me to?

I watch as she plays, a mother of ten,

When she really gets married what will I do then?

I know she’s not all I have, but she’s the most important part.

No matter what she does or where she goes,

She’ll always carry my heart.

Bittersweet 2013

Bittersweet memories of 2013

1. In 2013 my sweet cat Tigger died at the age of 15.


09/1998 to 07/01/2013  My sweet tigger may he rest in peace!

2. A Kitten named Sammy (AKA the Tasmanian Devil) came into my life.

057Sammy the Tasmanian Devil 🙂

3. My second niece arrived Allison Frances.


Allison Frances 05/18/2013

4. My first grandchild was born. (she’s the one on the right. Haha)

Jimmy and Devlin

Devlin Frances and my son Jimmy

5. My mom was hospitalized with heart and lung issues in November. We (my sister and I) found out my mom needs to have aortic valve replacement surgery when her lungs are strong enough. 😦 Shes better now but, the cardiologist says she is a ticking time bomb because of the valve being bad. Update: Mom had her valve replacement 04/2014.


Mom with her dog Missy on Christmas eve.

6. I lost 45 pounds (Yeah!)


Before 12/2012 (Ick what a terrible look!)


During 08/2013


After 12/2013 I Plan to lose another 50 pounds in 2014 (I am praying)

7. A little birdy told me grandchild number 2 may be on the way in 2014! It is supposed to be a secret so no pics. Shhhh! Don’t tell anyone! lol.

In conclusion, 2013 brought good, bad and downright frightening times; but we persevered and made it through another year!