My Journey Back to God


As far back as I can remember I always thought I was a Christian. In my early years till around 5 or 6 my Grandmother took me to a Baptist church. Then I didn’t go to church again till I was able to go by myself (age 12) and then only sporadically.

When I got married I wanted to take the kids to church but, their Dad was venomously against the idea. So, unfortunately I didn’t get back into church until I was divorced in 1992. Then only once in a while. I don’t like crowds so that was a big factor for me. Another faucet of not going was the churches’ I went to.

Some seemed awesome, great music, great activities, and great fellowship. Well at least until the pastor started saying that their church was better than another or the Methodist were going to hell or the Baptist or whatever church was on the hit list that day. Or the congregation was more interested in gossip than helping or loving people.

See that’s what religion means to me! If a church, congregation or, a so, called godly person is being judgmental or condemning  others to hell just because of a few differences in the doctrine well that’s what I call religion. To me religion equals backstabbing, rebellion, judgement and anything else that causes people to stray from God. Religion killed Jesus. He was killed because the religious zealots of the time refused to see what was right in front of them.

So, you can tell I am not fond of religion. It is also what has led me completely away from the church. Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying churches are all bad or, even the majority of them. It’s just for me coupled with the fact I don’t like crowds it’s not right at least not at the moment.

Anyways, back to my point I have always thought of myself as a Christian and right with God but, I had things a bit wrong; ok maybe a lot wrong. It all started when I read the book “The DE Vinci Code” That book really confused my beliefs. And I think that book was intended to do just that, confuse the issue.

Of course, in addition to my confusion I had this false belief. I believed that in addition to believing in God and Jesus; you had to do enough good works to get yourselves into Heaven. Which is way off base by the way. It says in the bible and I am paraphrasing here, that you cannot get into Heaven by doing good works, and that God made it that way so, we wouldn’t boast amongst ourselves as to who did the most good deeds.

Well, I finally realized that about two years ago when I happened to read the above mentioned verse in the bible and finally really understand what the passage meant. I also went on to learn that the way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ. I have to tell you it was a big lift off my shoulder’s when I learned that.

It’s so much easier in the long run to lay your burdens down and just let God take them. To let go and cry out to Jesus that you want him in your life. That you believe he died for your sins as well as everyone else’s, and that you believe  Jesus exists and then you ask Jesus for forgiveness for your sins. That’s really all there is too it but, it sure took me a long time to realize that my being scared to die or uncertainty about things; was Gods way of telling me I needed Jesus in my life.

Now, I don’t fear death because I am going to Heaven to be with God and Jesus when I die. I am a lot less worried about how things will turn out because I know God is looking out for me. I have a lot less anger now that I have let go of my past and given it up to God and forgiven the people who harmed me in some way.

However, I still don’t go to church but, I read the bible and watch programs on TV and U-tube on Gods word and Christianity and I listen to KLOVE (a positive & encouraging radio station that has stations all over the world); and I try to be kind to my fellow person. Even though that can be really hard sometimes. I screw up but, I ask for forgiveness and the slates wiped clean again. I’m nowhere near perfect  but, God loves me anyway! He knows I am still a work in progress!

 

 

 

 

 

Elizabeth Marie


Auburn hair and amber eyes…

A smile to fill you with the sun…

A warmth and brightness to her soul…

A sense of adventure and great strength…

Warm hands that create…

Such beauty, such art…

A loving heart in all things…

Elizabeth Marie…

Please bring her back to me

Safe and sound…

heart filled thoughts and hopes abound…

Bittersweet 2013


Bittersweet memories of 2013

1. In 2013 my sweet cat Tigger died at the age of 15.

002

09/1998 to 07/01/2013  My sweet tigger may he rest in peace!

2. A Kitten named Sammy (AKA the Tasmanian Devil) came into my life.

057Sammy the Tasmanian Devil 🙂

3. My second niece arrived Allison Frances.

21152_4818237940781_687077075_n

Allison Frances 05/18/2013

4. My first grandchild was born. (she’s the one on the right. Haha)

Jimmy and Devlin

Devlin Frances and my son Jimmy

5. My mom was hospitalized with heart and lung issues in November. We (my sister and I) found out my mom needs to have aortic valve replacement surgery when her lungs are strong enough. 😦 Shes better now but, the cardiologist says she is a ticking time bomb because of the valve being bad. Update: Mom had her valve replacement 04/2014.

.016

Mom with her dog Missy on Christmas eve.

6. I lost 45 pounds (Yeah!)

016

Before 12/2012 (Ick what a terrible look!)

011

During 08/2013

004

After 12/2013 I Plan to lose another 50 pounds in 2014 (I am praying)

7. A little birdy told me grandchild number 2 may be on the way in 2014! It is supposed to be a secret so no pics. Shhhh! Don’t tell anyone! lol.

In conclusion, 2013 brought good, bad and downright frightening times; but we persevered and made it through another year!

CHILDREN By Stacey Feitz


Funny Chinese Child Playing Boy

Funny Chinese Child Playing Boy (Photo credit: epSos.de)

Cute Kids in Children's Costumes

Cute Kids in Children’s Costumes (Photo credit: epSos.de)

CHILDREN By Stacey Feitz

Children are fascinating souls…

They fill many roles…

Sometimes as they grow…

The values we sow seem to get lost down some long forgotten row…

But when all seems naught…

Something happens to let us know…

That maybe the values are still there…

Not that forgotten…

However when a child is being especially rotten…

And the neighbors down the street can hear their screams…

Ones patience runs thin…

Terrible thoughts may circle in our heads…

Than darn it we give in…

And a child who has been screaming at the top of their lungs…

Forever it seems…

Instantly quiets, a devilish smile upon their lips…

And you vow next time not to give in…

The day goes on and bedtime nears and the child looks at you with tear filled eyes…

But you’ve had enough and soon the child’s asleep in bed…

A peaceful smile and an angels halo round their heads…

A Child of GOD


I have kind of steered clear of God, Jesus and Christianity, but since I think about GOD and Jesus all the time and they are part of my life, it is hard to edit myself to avoid making people mad. However this is my blog and since I wouldn’t be being truthful if I hid certain parts of myself and my writing  I have decided to go ahead and include post like this. Of course I am not forcing anyone to read these types of posts. I wrote this in 1992 back when I was going through a very traumatic divorce from a very abusive husband.

A Child of GOD

A child of God is born each day…

Full of promise full of love…

It is up to us to guide…

To show them the way…

The path of the lord…

Each child has a destiny…

A path they must follow…

Or woe may befall them…

We must teach them that life is precious…

That Gods miracle…

A love that must grow…

For all mankind…

Every living thing must be protected…

Each one of us must remember…

That time flows swiftly by…

Soon it’s time to die…

No time to cry…

Each one of us is a child of God whether we believe or not…

We must do our best to make a difference today…

Because tomorrow may never come…

 And  then it will be too late…

Care-A-Lot: Make some time today to care a lot about your loved ones


Care-A-Lot

Care a lot…

Sing a lot…

Say I love you at least once a day…

Take time to smile…

Make time to have fun…

Hugs and kisses aplenty…

Reassurance when times are bleak…

Time for yourself and each other…

Help one another…

Believe…

Loving pats…

Little chats…

Reality one moment at a time…

Aim to please…

Set aside some time each day…

And find away to care-a-lot…

Now a days when times are tight and divorce seems inevitable it is important to find some time to care so each relationship you have thrives.

To My Sister


My sister is on the left and I am on the right

To My Sister

Sisters are special…

I am the first to agree…

Even though I know…

It may not seem I care at times…

And in the past I’ve een a royal pain…

But sister please remember…

It sometimes takes one to grow older…and wiser…

Before we can behold how precious a sister truly is…

A special blessing come to call…

Sister I love you most of all…

I wrote this back when my sister and I were not on very good speaking terms. Then I painted her a picture for christmas and that started our reconciliation.