Up to date 2016


Its been a while since I darkened my blogs door way. Its been a long tiring, depressing & painful time. I had back surgery on disks L4-5 & L5-S1  as the disks were leaking quite a lot and the Sciatic pain from the drainage was unbearable.

Finally, after a lot  of rigamarow they did surgery on 08/04/2015 through the front. Since, I am a rather large woman I was in so much pain they had to transfer me to a rehab facility for ten days. As the Headache & Pain center’s hospital is not equipped for more than a day or twos stay.

Then after a lot of continued pain they put a cage around my spine by operating through the back this time on 08/31/15. After another stay at the rehab hospital for a week I was finally able to go home. Unfortunately, because of my size my back got all puffy and would drain small amounts of dark red blood or clear fluid.

One day about two weeks after surgery as I was to cleaning my back wound area with a q-tip & a water & peroxide mix like I was told one of the lower areas on my incision the q-tip went into my back and a Huge amount of fluid and dark blood ran out of my back and totally soiled and saturated my bed. I quickly grabbed a chuck and put it down behind me and another against my back .

As I pushed to put pressure my back to stop the on slot of fluid the rest of my incision opened up and showered me and both chuck’s with bloody fluid it was a mess I dare say. After the on slot slowed to a slow trickle I was able to get up and with my mom’s help get myself cleaned up.

The good news is after the built up fluid was gone I felt so much better. Good thing we had some bandages left from the hospital. My Mom & I estimated that I lost over 2 cups of fluid if not more. As it saturated two chucks 1/3rd of my bed, me my nightgown and a big heap of Kleenex

It took a long while for the wound to close and stay closed because of the constant build-up of fluid. But finally by January 2016 it closed for the final time.

It took me quite a while to get back on my feet after the surgery. However, by April 2016 I was feeling much better. On the downside I did end up with a small amount of nerve damage in my left thigh, ankle and foot/toes. Over time it got better but the damage to the nerves to my toes was affected the most and they still scream in pain from time to time. Mostly its hard to wear a shoe on that foot.

Then wouldn’t you know when I went back to the HA & pain Doctors to check out the results from my neck MRI.(I was having a lot of shoulder & neck  pain). I found out quite quickly that I had a disk in my neck that was pushing into my spinal cord causing me to lose balance to the side. I just thought I was clumsy. The doctor told me that I was in an emergency situation & had to have neck surgery asap or I could be paralyzed. So it was just under a week since I heard the news that I was under the knife again.

Thanks be to God I made it through without an issue. The site healed nicely with no problems and I was able to go home after only one night in the hospital.

So you can see why I have been too busy and in too much pain to write. Now After struggling to no avail for decades I am looking into weight loss surgery to relieve pressure on my back and help with my diabetes. Otherwise, I will just be having one surgery after another till I die.

I Know God will be with me no matter what happens and that gives me strength.

 

 

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Ever stood in front of the microwave and forgot why you were standing there??


For that matter have you ever opened the fridge door and forgot why you opened it? I have, matter of fact I have closed the fridge door or left from in front of the microwave depending on which one I was doing; and then gone back to my bedroom or wherever I was prior to the microwave or fridge and then I will remember why I was at the microwave or why I had opened the fridge. At times like these I feel like a real idiot! However, the worst is when I am in the middle of something and get distracted and then end up doing something else only to be distracted again by the cat or my mom and start something else. Then later I will notice 2-3 things half done and have to finish them (hopefully before I get distracted again).

Past Examples of things I have left undone would be:

  • turning the washer on and forgetting to put detergent or, softener in and/or leaving the lid up
  • leaving the fridge door open
  • leaving the dishes half done
  • leaving drawers or cabinets open

By now I am sure you are thinking I must be a little senile. My mom says I remind her of an absent-minded professor; because I don’t see the forest for the trees. Unfortunately, I see and hear way to much. My mind just processes things different. You see I believe I have Asperger’s Autism. If you know anything about autism you know that we are overwhelmed a lot by our environment. Me, well I get distracted by all the input. I can be talking about something very serious then see a butterfly or a flower and then I am looking at the butterfly or smelling the flowers and the person I was talking to is left hanging. You have to be quite patient when you are around me.

Since I turned forty, (seven years ago) I also noted a decline in my memory. So, I have to write everything down now. Problem is when I lose where I put the piece of paper! Ha Ha! I try to keep my room organized and everything in its place so, this does not happen but, a lot of the time life or, pain gets in the way. I now have a Calendar that I write all my appointments and important things I have to do on. This helps a lot.

Even with all the bad there are still some good things I have gotten from having autism. I have a heightened sense of smell that tells me when the litter box needs changed, when food is done, and when I need to bathe. I enjoy flowers and outdoors more because of my sense of smell. I also have a strong sense of textures. This can be good and bad. Especially with food, I cannot stand certain food textures. However, I love soft fur,  clothes and blankets. No wool for me or anything that is scratchy. Which also means there are no tags on any of my clothes.

Now you know you are not alone when it comes to being forgetful or needing everything to be in a certain order!

Living with Asperger’s Autism


I was born in September of 1966. Back in those days people had no clue what Asperger’s was. If you were dysfunctional or acted strange you were put in an institution. I have to give my mom a lot of credit here because she never did that to me. When I would have flunked kindergarten my mom convinced the teacher to pass me. My mom and grandmother thought it was because I four years old when I started kindergarten not turning five till the end of September. The truth of the matter was kindergarten had been way too overwhelming for me. I wasn’t used to so much noise, and the lights were way to bright! Nap time was another challenge; by the time we were supposed to lie down I was too keyed up from all the input and would either cry or throw a royal fit. Normally, I was quiet and withdrawn preferring to escape inside my head then deal with school and everyone in it. I don’t remember a lot of my early childhood but I do remember I had no social skills to draw from and my mom was told I was retarded by my kindergarten teacher. But you know I wasn’t and am not retarded. At the tender age of five I could already read a newspaper out loud to my grandmother. I knew my colors and how to count but it took me till I was in third grade to learn the alphabet.
In first, second, third, and fourth grades I had sessions with therapists and tutors sometimes twice a week other times every day. During some of these sessions there were toys piled high on a table in the room and the therapist would watch me play. In other sessions they would just talk to me. In 4th grade my therapy visits were eliminated when I went to the first visit that year and looked at the psychiatrist who was there to evaluate me with another table filled high with toys and said “You want me to play with these toys so you can watch me and see if you can determine what type of therapy I need.” By then I was tired of being evaluated all the time when I played and tired of having to see a therapist. I told the Psychiatrist that I needed a tutor to help me catch up with the other kids; not see a therapist who only further alienated me from the other kids. The psychiatrist said I was fine after that. He also said I was a lot smarter than the teacher’s thought and I was not retarded. I remained in tutoring until the beginning of fifth grade at which time I was caught up with my peers.
My difficulty in school was always related to how I related to things or how I interacted with other children. For the most part I found other children mean. I went through a lot of bullying too, which made k-6 years almost unbearable. By high school I learned to mimic other kids and how they socialized so I did much better.
When I look back on my life and then think about my life now I realize I still suffer from a lot of Asperger’s related issues.
1. Hypersensitivity to noise: (in high school this diminished now a days it’s back with a vengeance) I like quiet and soft light; it bothers me if it is too bright outside.
2. Hypersensitivity to sensations: If I am hot I am extremely hot to the point of getting very fidgety, if I am cold I am freezing. I cannot nor have I ever been able to tolerate tags in my clothes and clothes have to be washed sometimes three times before they are comfortable to me. Certain smells bother me and there are certain foods I cannot eat because of the texture and the texture I can’t tolerate can change on me.
3. Routine: I need a least a day or two to prepare myself for changes and when I work I must have a certain routine to keep my stress level down. I also have to have a certain amount of down time between being at work and not being at work or I panic.
4. Obsessions: I get obsessed easily for instance I watched extreme couponing once and ended up getting a notebook, and dividers and I would go to the recycling centers and collect grocery sacks full of coupons and that’s all I would do from the time I got up to the time I went to bed. The same with scrapbooking. Its like I go through these extreme phases where I eat , breathe and sleep whatever I am obsessed with at the time.
5. Poor social skills: though my social skills have gotten better and I have learned to recognize some facial expressions I still will ask someone if they are mad at me because I read their facial expression wrong. This drives my mom crazy at times. Used to drive my best friend nuts. In-addition I tend to talk before I think and I tend to tell everyone my life story even if I just met them. I also tend to answer a question literally I have no buffers. For instance one of the things that got me into trouble at my last job was because I had an elderly client ask me what the scar on my left forearm was from. Instead of making up something or hedging the question. I told her the truth, that I had tried to commit suicide 20 years ago. I didn’t go into detail that’s all I said but this caused the patient to request another nurse because she was afraid I would get upset and try to commit suicide in her house. Which to me is a really weird reaction as I had never done anything to make her think that and she always requested me prior to that.

Even with all the adversity I have had through my life I keep plugging away. One thing that has helped is my writing whether it be journaling or writing stories it’s the one way I have been able to connect with people without feeling at a disadvantage.

Elizabeth Marie


Auburn hair and amber eyes…

A smile to fill you with the sun…

A warmth and brightness to her soul…

A sense of adventure and great strength…

Warm hands that create…

Such beauty, such art…

A loving heart in all things…

Elizabeth Marie…

Please bring her back to me

Safe and sound…

heart filled thoughts and hopes abound…

Stacey Lynn


Just the other day I came across a notebook full of my moms old writing. In it I was delighted to find a poem about me entitled “Stacey Lynn.” I just had to share it with everyone as I thought it was so special! It was written in 1971 according to my mom, when I was just five years old!

Stacey Lynn by Sylvia Xxxxx

What’ll I do when she’s grown and gone?

The hour’s will seem ever so long.

I yell at her now, but what would I do?

If she wasn’t there for me to?

I watch as she plays, a mother of ten,

When she really gets married what will I do then?

I know she’s not all I have, but she’s the most important part.

No matter what she does or where she goes,

She’ll always carry my heart.

FYI Homemade Recipe for Powdery Mildew Killer


Powdery Mildew Fungi on Pumpkin Leaves

Powdery Mildew Fungi on Pumpkin Leaves (Photo credit: Jeff Kubina)

Powdery mildew, a Biotrophic Fungus

I cam across this homemade recipe for killing /removing Powdery Mildew from your plants it works really well and its cheap to make. So I thought I would share this with you all.

Powdery Mildew Killer/Remover

– one gallon water

-one tablespoon baking soda

-mild dish detergent (Ivory works well)

You simply pour ingredients into a spray bottle and spritz the tops and bottoms of leaves. Include a light application to the ground around plants. When plants begin to bloom , make weekly applications to prevent these pests.

Simple Right :)I hope this helps someone.

Spaghetti and Meatballs with a Side of Applesauce


Chef Boyardee to the Rescue!

Chef Boyardee to the Rescue! (Photo credit: Joe Plocki (turbojoe))

Spaghetti and Meatballs with a Side of Applesauce

Lately, I have not been blogging as much. This is mainly because I have been kind of down in the dumps, wanting to tear my hair out over our financial situation, and my inability to do very much! My mind is all like let’s go and my body is like let’s not! Which can be very frustrating to say the least. So I obsess about coupons. Coupon’s here coupon’s there, coupon’s everywhere! Since money is so tight I am like I must find the best coupon’s and the best sales to get what we need for the very least amount of money. Since , I have to keep the budget less than $100 a month for food, personal care products, paper products, computer ink and everything else. I must, I must strive to save, save, save so I can have money for the bills, gas and entertainment (Ha! what entertainment, this is it typing on the computer or surfing the web for coupons). Luckily I got a box of printer paper for Christmas.

Well enough of that! Time to stick my chin up (with duct tape if necessary) and get out of the muley grubs! I have loads of things to be happy for!  For instance, I just found out I got approved for food stamps and I will be getting a whopping $16 a month. So, there that’s $116 for food and all the rest! And there’s the fact I have a roof over my head, and all the utilities are on and I have a car.  I may not be able to drive it without gas but,  hey I have a good working mind maybe I can invent a new way to make gas or figure out a way to turn my little Yaris into a solar car. Hey you never know.

Then there’s the crown jewel of happiness! The one food I used to love as a kid and still do for that matter. Chef Boyardee Spaghetti and Meatball’s are only $.89 a can at Target.  That’s a  meal in a can. Plus add a vegetable or wait maybe not on the commercials lately they have been hinting that there are vegetables in every can so there you are one meal for $0.89. But wait $0.89 x 30 days = $26.70+ tax, wow that’s a big chunk out of the budget for one meal a day! Plus I usually have some applesauce for desert!  I wonder if PB & J would be cheaper?? But then  theirs the bread, jelly and peanut butter and you would have to have chips or something with it. 😦

Oh dear,  I better find some  more coupons! 😦

How are you? Has the weather got you down? Are the bill collector’s knocking on your door? What do you think?

English: crisis comes and goes, debt remains

English: crisis comes and goes, debt remains (Photo credit: Wikipedia)