Gods Not Dead He’s Very Alive!

Gods Alive and with us always! We are so full of the world that we cannot hear him at times. It is important we listen to him. He gives nudges, feelings, goosebumps and much more to let us know he …

Source: Gods Not Dead He’s Very Alive!


Gods Not Dead He’s Very Alive!

Gods Alive and with us always! We are so full of the world that we cannot hear him at times. It is important we listen to him. He gives nudges, feelings, goosebumps and much more to let us know he is around & what he wants for us. But, the worlds so loud its hard to hear. The most important thing to remember and believe with all your heart is that God loves you as if you were his only child he loves us all that way. No matter what we have or have not done God loves us. Next and actually the most important is that God allowed his only son to be beaten, humiliated, tortured and finally nailed to a cross for our sins. Everyone’s sins. God knew the old laws and commandments were impossible for his people to achieve. So, he sacrificed his son so that we may be under Grace and have everlasting life. No longer are we under the old laws and all we have to do is repent now to be forgiven. Jesus is the key to God the Only key. Jesus is who will stand up on judgement day while we stand there waiting to be judged and answers God when he says who atones for this sinner and Jesus says “I DO!” Don’t let your chance go by, get to know Jesus and God so that when God says who speaks for this sinner; Jesus does not say I’m sorry I don’t know this person!

My Journey Back to God

As far back as I can remember I always thought I was a Christian. In my early years till around 5 or 6 my Grandmother took me to a Baptist church. Then I didn’t go to church again till I was able to go by myself (age 12) and then only sporadically.

When I got married I wanted to take the kids to church but, their Dad was venomously against the idea. So, unfortunately I didn’t get back into church until I was divorced in 1992. Then only once in a while. I don’t like crowds so that was a big factor for me. Another faucet of not going was the churches’ I went to.

Some seemed awesome, great music, great activities, and great fellowship. Well at least until the pastor started saying that their church was better than another or the Methodist were going to hell or the Baptist or whatever church was on the hit list that day. Or the congregation was more interested in gossip than helping or loving people.

See that’s what religion means to me! If a church, congregation or, a so, called godly person is being judgmental or condemning  others to hell just because of a few differences in the doctrine well that’s what I call religion. To me religion equals backstabbing, rebellion, judgement and anything else that causes people to stray from God. Religion killed Jesus. He was killed because the religious zealots of the time refused to see what was right in front of them.

So, you can tell I am not fond of religion. It is also what has led me completely away from the church. Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying churches are all bad or, even the majority of them. It’s just for me coupled with the fact I don’t like crowds it’s not right at least not at the moment.

Anyways, back to my point I have always thought of myself as a Christian and right with God but, I had things a bit wrong; ok maybe a lot wrong. It all started when I read the book “The DE Vinci Code” That book really confused my beliefs. And I think that book was intended to do just that, confuse the issue.

Of course, in addition to my confusion I had this false belief. I believed that in addition to believing in God and Jesus; you had to do enough good works to get yourselves into Heaven. Which is way off base by the way. It says in the bible and I am paraphrasing here, that you cannot get into Heaven by doing good works, and that God made it that way so, we wouldn’t boast amongst ourselves as to who did the most good deeds.

Well, I finally realized that about two years ago when I happened to read the above mentioned verse in the bible and finally really understand what the passage meant. I also went on to learn that the way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ. I have to tell you it was a big lift off my shoulder’s when I learned that.

It’s so much easier in the long run to lay your burdens down and just let God take them. To let go and cry out to Jesus that you want him in your life. That you believe he died for your sins as well as everyone else’s, and that you believe  Jesus exists and then you ask Jesus for forgiveness for your sins. That’s really all there is too it but, it sure took me a long time to realize that my being scared to die or uncertainty about things; was Gods way of telling me I needed Jesus in my life.

Now, I don’t fear death because I am going to Heaven to be with God and Jesus when I die. I am a lot less worried about how things will turn out because I know God is looking out for me. I have a lot less anger now that I have let go of my past and given it up to God and forgiven the people who harmed me in some way.

However, I still don’t go to church but, I read the bible and watch programs on TV and U-tube on Gods word and Christianity and I listen to KLOVE (a positive & encouraging radio station that has stations all over the world); and I try to be kind to my fellow person. Even though that can be really hard sometimes. I screw up but, I ask for forgiveness and the slates wiped clean again. I’m nowhere near perfect  but, God loves me anyway! He knows I am still a work in progress!






Up to date 2016

Its been a while since I darkened my blogs door way. Its been a long tiring, depressing & painful time. I had back surgery on disks L4-5 & L5-S1  as the disks were leaking quite a lot and the Sciatic pain from the drainage was unbearable.

Finally, after a lot  of rigamarow they did surgery on 08/04/2015 through the front. Since, I am a rather large woman I was in so much pain they had to transfer me to a rehab facility for ten days. As the Headache & Pain center’s hospital is not equipped for more than a day or twos stay.

Then after a lot of continued pain they put a cage around my spine by operating through the back this time on 08/31/15. After another stay at the rehab hospital for a week I was finally able to go home. Unfortunately, because of my size my back got all puffy and would drain small amounts of dark red blood or clear fluid.

One day about two weeks after surgery as I was to cleaning my back wound area with a q-tip & a water & peroxide mix like I was told one of the lower areas on my incision the q-tip went into my back and a Huge amount of fluid and dark blood ran out of my back and totally soiled and saturated my bed. I quickly grabbed a chuck and put it down behind me and another against my back .

As I pushed to put pressure my back to stop the on slot of fluid the rest of my incision opened up and showered me and both chuck’s with bloody fluid it was a mess I dare say. After the on slot slowed to a slow trickle I was able to get up and with my mom’s help get myself cleaned up.

The good news is after the built up fluid was gone I felt so much better. Good thing we had some bandages left from the hospital. My Mom & I estimated that I lost over 2 cups of fluid if not more. As it saturated two chucks 1/3rd of my bed, me my nightgown and a big heap of Kleenex

It took a long while for the wound to close and stay closed because of the constant build-up of fluid. But finally by January 2016 it closed for the final time.

It took me quite a while to get back on my feet after the surgery. However, by April 2016 I was feeling much better. On the downside I did end up with a small amount of nerve damage in my left thigh, ankle and foot/toes. Over time it got better but the damage to the nerves to my toes was affected the most and they still scream in pain from time to time. Mostly its hard to wear a shoe on that foot.

Then wouldn’t you know when I went back to the HA & pain Doctors to check out the results from my neck MRI.(I was having a lot of shoulder & neck  pain). I found out quite quickly that I had a disk in my neck that was pushing into my spinal cord causing me to lose balance to the side. I just thought I was clumsy. The doctor told me that I was in an emergency situation & had to have neck surgery asap or I could be paralyzed. So it was just under a week since I heard the news that I was under the knife again.

Thanks be to God I made it through without an issue. The site healed nicely with no problems and I was able to go home after only one night in the hospital.

So you can see why I have been too busy and in too much pain to write. Now After struggling to no avail for decades I am looking into weight loss surgery to relieve pressure on my back and help with my diabetes. Otherwise, I will just be having one surgery after another till I die.

I Know God will be with me no matter what happens and that gives me strength.