Living with Chronic pain I


Living with chronic pain can make the simplest things seem insurmountable. I have lived with pain for over 30 years. My first memory of recurring pain was in fifth grade when I woke up with the worst headache I had ever had, my eyes were red and puffy and my sinus hurt terribly, not realizing my sinus pain and pressure was going to get worse I went to school and spent most of it in the nursing office with a wet cloth over my eyes and sinus. This sinus issue lasted three days then I was fine. But from then on I suffered from minor HA’s which evolved into full-fledge migraines in my late teens to early twenties. When I was 12 I started to have severe monthly pain lasting for 1-3 days every time I would menstruate. I used to tell people it felt like someone was wringing out my uterus and vaginal area. When I was around 14 or 15 I started experiencing back pain so much so that I had my little sister walk on my back. (probably not a good idea in hind-site) The back pain would come and go.

When I was 18 I had my first child Elizabeth. The nurses said my periods should not be as painful since I had given birth. They were wrong (My period pain was more severe than before and lasted from 2-4 days) Carrying my daughter around caused my back pain to become more severe. It was during this time I was introduced to a chiropractor friend of the kids dad who would adjust our back weekly. After I had my daughter I also started having leg cramps and heart palpitations and chest pain. I have a heart murmur so the cardiologist checked out the reason for the heart murmur and decided it was just a sound of no consequence, and the heart palpitations and chest pain were put off as gas.

I was 16 when I first started having difficulty getting up in the am feeling kind of achy. I am forty-five now and wish I could trade my morning troubles for back then. By nature I am an afternoon /evening type individual. If I have to get up early it adds about an hour-or two to my already painful get-up ritual. It takes me and hour to get up out of bed and get my barring and another hour to get dressed and ready to go someplace. If I am staying home it is easier because my own biological clock will wake me up and pain won’t be as bad hopefully (but this is not always the case). What helps me to be able to get out of bed with less pain and discomfort is taking my medicine 1-1/2 -2 hours before getting up. When I used to work I would have to get up at 6:30am and it would take me till 10am to get ready and out of the house because of the severity of pain I was in. I tried working nights several times but it really throws off my mental balance and I start hallucinating, making rash decision, making lots of mistakes.

In 1997 I was working the night shift in a locked Alzheimer’s unit and I had a psychotic break and disassociated for a large portion of my shift.  I believe that I got roughed up by some of the patients and I also hurt my back, neck, shoulders, and hips from the tremendous amount of back-breaking work I was supposed to do. Strips beds and remake them. Give baths to 15 of the 17 patients on the unit. A lot of lifting and bending .  By the time my shift was over I was a mess the ward was a mess and I was practically catatonic. Ended up being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, arthritis, neck strain, bilateral shoulder strains, and back pain.

Because of the above trauma I developed PTSD, DID, Depression increased, and anxiety. It was during this time that I picked up 90lbs of fat on my frame. In 2001 I was first diagnosed with diabetes II diet controlled. Since 2006 I have been taking metformin and since 2010 I started having giving myself a nightly shot of lantus.

In 1995, 2001, and 2008 I was in involved in MVA where my previous injuries were exasperated. By my last accident in 2008 my back had developed several small bulging disks and a herniated disk as well as osteoarthritis of my hips and knees.

The only thing that has kept me going thru all this has been my faith in Jesus Christ, GOD and christian radio, and my affectionate and my faithful companion Tigger and my mom and sister and my kids.

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