Welcome to my world


Once again I find myself unemployed and struggling just to survive! Thankfully I live with my mom or most certainly I would be on the street! There are several ironic things about the situation I find myself in. First off I have a BA in Healthcare Administration, a KS and MO LPN license and a medical coding and billing certificate. Having all this should make finding a job quite easy. Which it would be for a normal person. When you lose jobs as quickly as I do after a while you run out of places to work.

To simplify I seem to get jobs quite easily it is just that I don’t seem to be able to keep them very well. The longest job I have ever had was two years, but it was for a nursing agency and I only worked two days a week normally. The longest FT job I have had has been one year. I have spent a lot of time thinking on this subject and trying to figure out exactly what is so wrong with me that I cannot seem to keep a job.

I have come to the conclusion that the reasoning is complex and there is no short answer. Take the last job I had for just shy of six months as a home care nurse for a well-known home care company. I was complimented numerous times for my computer documentation and my paperwork. The downside which I thought I hid well was the toll the job was taking on my body.  (I have arthritis, fibromyalgia, extreme pain issues, diabetes, as well as a long list of other physical health issues.) The job turned out to be a lot more physical then I realized, which caused a back injury in which I was off for over 8 weeks, and other physical issues that caused me to be close to the limit on missed days at work. Every place and time I have ever worked I have had trouble maintaining good attendance due to my physical and mental disabilities.

Then on the very day I came back from being off for over 8 weeks for a back injury, I get called into the office and am told that I have been getting a lot of complaints from patients because I am either too slow or act like I don’t have any confidence. Oh and there were a couple of other complaints relating to the fact that I tend to be an open book and tend to talk before I think. Well long story short a few days later I was pulled back into the office my schedule cleared for the day. I knew when I went this could not be good news and it wasn’t  I was fired. I was told it just wasn’t a good fit. Of course I was pretty beat up about it but it has caused me to re-evaluate my life and I finally settled upon a reason for my failure at keeping a job and I have through research and thru participating in research studies and testing come upon a reason for my struggle at keeping a job and for my struggles growing up.

I have Aspergers Autism. In 2008 I was taking care of an autistic child twice a week who has a sister who has Aspergers. The mom of both girls gave me reading material on both Autism and Aspergers syndrome. It was then that I began to notice the similarities between myself growing up and how I  interact with the world  with the stories of other kids and adults who have Aspergers syndrome.

I tried to tell my mom about the fact I may have Aspergers syndrome and how the difficulties they had were almost identical to the ones I had. My mom however shrugged it off and said I needed to stop thinking about such things and keep working on getting more work. At the time I thought ok it doesn’t matter anyways.

Now I know that’s not true. Trying to be normal & acting normal is very hard for me because 1. I am not normal I don’t think like other people do, I have trouble reading people’s emotions, and trying to act appropriately. 2. I have a lot of physical pain and anxiety related disorders that affect my work & cause a lot of problems and stress.

Thanks for listening!

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